#Me Too, but They Already Knew That
I can confidently say that I have never met a woman who hasn’t experienced some form of sexual harassment or assault from men. Most of the time, when speaking about things, we like to avoid speaking in absolute terms such as my previous statement. But in this case, the shit is true. Often young girls experience the sexual gaze of men shortly after they begin to wear training bras. By the time women come into full adulthood, we fully understand through lived experiences that men are trash.
If men are ever honest with themselves, they too, know they ain’t shit. That’s why I’m not posting “#me too” on my Facebook profile. If you haven’t refreshed your browser in a few days, let’s catch up together on the latest social media trend.
So, you’re supposed to type “Me too” as a status. The point is that “If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote ‘Me too’ as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.”
That’s a cute idea and I get the sentiment behind the movement. I would never shame women who decide they want to share their experience(s) with the world. However, I’m deciding to sit this trend out because I know that men already understand these things. They just don’t give a fuck. And the men that understand and fight against it don’t need to be motivated by social media trends. They just generally practice not being pieces of shit to random women in the public.
So, I’d just be reliving trauma for a gang of women who already understand to “amen” me in the comments. And I would get the occasional “Damn… niggas be out here wild” from some men. And because niggas ain’t shit, there would inevitably be some guy in the comments that would preach that “not all men… men experience assault too”. Long story made short, I’ve been here and done that. I’ve realized that the screams of the oppressed will be silenced until those who hold the power decide they want to change oppressive behavior.
At this point, men don’t see women as equals or people with fears and feelings. For many men, women are just “things” to be used and discarded. So, until that changes, men will continue to be trash. And much like White people, men tend to only listen to other people who look like them—men. So, it will take the efforts of men, calling out the bad behaviors of their peers for change to take place. Men must lose friends over sexual harassment. Men must be embarrassed to be pigs. Men must deeply understand that the shit ain’t cool and they can be outcasts for such behavior. But most of all, men must see women as their peers and people deserving of respect and protection. We have to change the way boys are raised and what their idea of manhood is. For many, being a piece of shit is simply a part of being a “man”. Hell, we see it every time college athletes are caught date raping a woman on campus. The phrase “boys will be boys” is thrown around as if being a piece of shit is embedded in the Y chromosome.
Men will continue to claim ignorance and lack of understanding until they hold themselves accountable for everyone that is harassed. When men begin to have these conversations among themselves in hopes to find a small solution to the problem, we will see change. But for now, these niggas just about to act shocked in the comment section like their friend didn’t just stalk his ex the other weekend while he sat back and said “Boy you wild…” Or they will deny that the abuse happens although several women tell their stories every day in blogs, books, journals, open mics, etc. Overall, men are made to feel safe and comfortable within their pile of shit because other men allow them to find comfort there. And me saying “I’ve been harassed/assaulted” isn’t groundbreaking or “eye opening” for them because they already knew that.
Afros and Ovaries
"I said what I said"