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A Vegan Is Ruining My Birthday!!

A Vegan Is Ruining My Birthday!!

Dear Everybody,

My birthday is arriving. Hold your applause and celebration... I’m not one that wants a huge rah, rah about my lil day or whatever. So, I usually end up going to a small brewery or whiskey tasting with about exactly 2 friends and call it a day.

My job usually has monthly birthday parties for the people in the office. I am the only person with a January birthday in the office. Naturally, I thought that I would basically get a celebration dedicated specifically to my Black ass. The office manager usually sends out an email to all of the birthday people in the month asking about a preferred day and specific treat for the office.

This time around, the office manager decided to combine the January AND February birthdays. Now, as I’ve stated before, I don’t give a damn about my birthday. So, I wasn’t pressed too much about sharing the month with these people-- it’s only 4 of us in total. HOWEVER, one person out of the group is a fucking vegan! I’ll be the first to say that a black bean burger is pretty damn good and I love almond milk. But I’m not trying to nibble on chickpea cupcakes for my birthday celebration in the office.

I took it upon myself to “reply all” to the initial email and suggest that we have an ice cream cake (this is what I’ve been planning to have for the past 2 months). And sure enough, here comes a follow up email asking about some bullshit vegan treats. Bitch, no! I’m not for it. Now, if they want to have a lil side treat for themselves, they can, but don’t force that shit on me. I want to be a fat ass in celebration of my bornday!

What I’m asking y’all is… am I petty for feeling this way? Should I just be inclusive and allow this person to have their “soycakes” or should I pull out the extreme petty and make a huge fuss about all of this?

Be great,
Afros and Ovaries
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