Lessons On Being Forgiven
Have you ever had a crackhead uncle that stole a TV from your grandma’s house? Or maybe he stole your bike with the pink tassels and the little white basket that you used to put your snacks from the corner store in. Or maybe he stole a couple of tools from your granddaddy. Either way, you get the picture—a nigga that stole shit to get high. Someway, somehow, these uncles or aunts always manage to get clean. Now, they may not stay clean for long, but they always find a way to get clean and try to become a trusted member of the family again. In doing this, they often try to put their horrible past of crack rocks in a dark hole and never bring it up again. They often find themselves deep into the church and in some cases even find the room to judge other people that are suffering from the same addiction that they themselves quit two months ago. During the time when they’re sober, they will often slowly reintroduce themselves to the family claiming that they aren’t the same person and asking for forgiveness. In some cases, people are willing to put the past behind them and focus on the greater times ahead. However, there are some people that aren’t willing to forgive or forget—and they have that right.
While I’ve used a drug addicted family member as my example, this concept of someone doing an ill act against another and expecting forgiveness is pretty much applicable in many situations. This is because, many people don’t like to face the fact that their actions can leave a permanent scar and those scars don’t heal with a simple “I’m sorry… will you forgive me?” It can take a matter of seconds to hurt someone and the healing process for something that took seconds can last decades. That being said, think twice before you do shitty things to people. Moreover, be prepared to not speak to them or have that same relationship ever again.
This isn’t the same as being a bitter person who refuses to move on from a situation, but this is a person who can now never trust, love, or care the same because of one selfish act. Trust isn’t given, often it is earned. And in some cases it can take years for someone to earn another person’s trust again. Sorry, but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles.
An example is someone that I know that was betrayed by their spouse in the worst way possible—infidelity. And it’s been years since the act was committed, but they still can’t seem to shake the hurt. Often showing a complete dissatisfaction with the mate and in some cases speaking on the hurt. While I’m sure the mate thought that it would be a relatively quick fix that might last a year, it has been a few years, and there are still apparent scars from that event.
Again, the lesson here is to try your best not to commit selfish acts that would hurt someone that you love. However, if you do, understand that the healing process for something that you’ve damaged may not be as smooth as you might like to think. Don’t be so selfish to think that someone has to forgive you because you’ve asked for forgiveness. In the same way, after they’ve forgiven you, there may be a buffer period where they can’t trust you as they have in the past.
If you’ve been hurt, try your best to properly heal from the damage. We all know what happens when something doesn’t heal correctly—it gets infected. To avoid infection, ensure that you’re cleansing the wound, applying salve, bandages, and letting it breathe every so often. Without all of the metaphors—just take care of yourself emotionally, There’s nothing wrong with a good cry to cleanse the hurt or a long talk with the person who has caused the hurt. Do what you have to do to ensure you heal.
Or we can drink wine, get drunk and talk about their ex, then go bash all their car windows out… it’s up to you.
Afros and Ovaries
Someone needs this and I hope they get it