Why You Should Stop Caring About What People Think
I often have conversations that are held very attitudinally at a high voice level with my mother about the opinions of others. See, she’s one that’s from the church who really cares about her image. There is nothing wrong with that. Hell, I’m protective of my image and my overall personal branding, so I stray away from posting certain things on social media, saying things in front of certain people, twerking in front of my church mothers, etc. Not because those things would make me less of a person, but because it’s not a part of my personal branding. There are somethings that I like to save for my close friends and family. I like to keep some personal things to my immediate circle.
My mother thinks that I’m just around her telling people “fuck ya’ two cents if it ain’t going towards the bill”. While at times it would be lovely to tell folk that, I don’t because I’m not an asshole. However, I will not allow another person’s “two cents” influence me so much that I’m no longer living my life. When I wake my Black ass up in the morning, I like to think I’m being the very best version of me. If at any time I feel as if I’m not being the best ME, I know that it’s time for me to rearrange some things and do better.
So, I guess what I’m trying to say is… I do care about what people think, but I don’t care enough to live a less fulfilling life. Keeping it real, you shouldn’t care about another person’s opinion that much either. I hurt a little inside for those people who feel trapped in a situation because they’re afraid of what people will say. Several couples that I know are together for the sake of family or the church. All of them living in hell because they care too much about what people will think of them.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with a little compromise. At times you gotta leave a little wiggle room so that you can do things like still have a job or be able to pay your bills. What I’m referring to are those things that are near and dear to your heart. Things like your major in college, your career choice, the person that you marry, having kids (or not having kids). So, don’t just say “fuck it” and go to work without showering because you don’t feel like it and mess around and get fired. But, if you’re married and you just don’t want kids… don’t have them. I used to think that if a woman didn’t want to get married or have kids that she must have had family issues growing up. Now that I’m less stupid, I know that having kids is a huge commitment and I don’t blame a person for not wanting any parts of that shit—pun intended. Same thing with marriage; it’s not for everyone. Some people need to have a lifetime membership to being a “playa” because the monogamous lifestyle doesn’t suit them.
If you ask me, the true answer to this dilemma is for people to mind their damn business and stop trying to force their internal beliefs on others. If everyone would keep their mouths shut and keep their eyes on their own exam, the world would be better off. Your gay cousin wouldn’t have to be in the closet for so long, your aunt would finally leave that ain’t-shit husband of hers, and your best friend wouldn’t have to deal with a baby that she didn’t want. See, people do all of these things to please others. Because they have such a strong desire to please or impress someone, they forget to please themselves. Thus, they end up hating life and not coming to family functions because if they hear “When are you gonna settle down and get married?” one more time, they’re going to start cussing the whole family out—even your cousin that sits in the corner with headphones on, rapping underground hip hop to himself; we know he ain’t did shit to get cussed out, but everyone will be a target that day.
Take it from me. Care about what people think. Work on developing your personal brand and own that brand! But don’t let a bitch stop you from doing you. If you don’t get anything else from this post, understand that your main goal in life should be being the best version of YOU that you can possibly be. Knowing who you are and who you want to become is something that no one should be able to take away from you, so don’t let them.
Afros and Ovaries
Not give two shits about what you think about this post