My celebrators are my motivators
About two weekends ago, I attended my family reunion. Because my family is so awesome we actually have a scholarship fund. It’s funded by a cousin of mine that decided that she would give back to her family and help someone else accomplish their goals. She awarded five of my family members with $500 scholarships and two of the family members with $250 scholarships. I was among the five that received the $500. This isn’t my first time receiving the scholarship; she’s been doing this for ten years now. Usually she would call my name, tell a little bit about me, hand me a check and a lovely certificate, and pass me the microphone. I usually just want to get back to my plate of ribs and chicken—typical ain’t shit, shit—so I make it really cute and short. It usually goes a little like “I would like to thank my cousin for doing this and thank you all for supporting me… thanks”— cute, right? Well this time, it was a little different.
This time I opened my mouth and words, meaningful words, fell out. You know that feeling— how you just feel like you should actually be saying something? I felt like I wanted to really acknowledge the people in my life that supported me. It went something like this: “We all know the saying ‘my haters are my motivators’...well, I stopped thinking that way a few months ago. I don’t want to give someone that awaits my failure that type of power over my success. Instead, I like to think people like my cousin here, the people that want me to do well, are my motivators. My celebrators are indeed my motivators. While it may be true that there are people waiting for you to fail, there are twice as many people waiting to see you do well so they can congratulate you! Your haters don’t matter because they’re never going to do anything for you. I want to take this moment to recognize my celebrators… Thank you all.” I’m not sure if it was exactly like that, but that sounds good and it was the basic outline of what I said and this is my blog so I can put quotes around whatever I want. I give you that story to introduce the topic of: “Fuck Them Muthaf*ckahs That Wait For You To Fail.” Or better yet, we can call it “My Celebrators Are My Motivators.”
Just a few months ago I stopped giving people who meant so little to me so much power over my success. I mean, to be completely honest, most of the people that use the “My haters are my motivators” phrase have little to no haters, but that’s beside the point. The point is, stop focusing on the negative things in your life. Just a few days ago my mom told me, “...people are waiting to find something wrong with you so they can focus on it and try to tear you down… they wait for you to fail.” We all know these things are true, but let’s take a minute to discuss why they can go eat glass.
First, most of your “haters” ain’t doing shit with their lives anyway! Think about it, when your life is going well the last thing you can care about is someone else— you’re too busy living your wonderful ass life. However, when you’re in a shitty mental, physical, financial, spiritual space, it’s common to want to know that someone else is doing poorly as well. Kinda like when you’re in school and you get a failing grade on a test, you feel better to know that at least ¼ of the class is fucking up too. “Haters” like to think, “Oh, if this bitch fucks up, that’ll show she ain’t all that anyway…she’s just like the rest of us.” What they say is true… misery loves company. Don’t let some do nothing ass bitch bother you.
The most important part is the fact that they can’t do shit for you! When was the last time a “hater” put money in your pocket? Even if they did help you out, they’re only doing it so they can run and tell the block that you out here begging for money and doing something strange for a piece of change. Someone that doesn’t want to see you do well will never truly help you. There will always be a hidden agenda. Best advice I can give is, don’t take shit from someone that doesn’t truly wish the best for you. They’re waiting to “casually” mention how they gave you a meal when you were hungry to the next person. They go out of their way to attempt to discredit you and your accomplishments—even if that means they have to spend a few bucks or a few hours at an event.
Last summer I went to a wedding. I sat in the church as I waited for the ceremony to begin. As I sat there, two women were behind me criticizing every single thing they could find. It went like this…
Bitter Bitch #1 (BB1): They know they picked a hot church…
Bitter Bitch #2 (BB2): Yes, and it’s empty! They must have ran out of money for decorations.
BB1: Oh, sshh… I guess they’re finally gon’ start this wedding…45 minutes late!
BB2: Why are they walking in like that… it’s not smooth. They should have changed that!
BB1: I like her dress, but they should have pushed up her breast more. Strapless ain’t for everybody…
The conversation went on like that for the entire wedding. These two women had NOTHING nice to say. They took time out of their day to come to someone’s wedding and criticize everything in sight. They prove my point; people will go out of their way to see you stumble. They’re going to find something wrong in every single thing that you do. You’ll never be rich enough, tall enough, happy enough, strong enough… just never enough for those people. So why care? Do what makes you happy and don’t let two bitter single bitches in the audience at your wedding control your success or your choices.
At the end of the day, people are going to hate on your “glo up”. It’s the bitter truth. I wish things were different, but hell, even Jesus had haters. So I’ll be damned if I cheat my mama out of her credit by acknowledging some hating ass, do nothing ass bitch for my success. When I finally get my money right and get some award named by a white man that probably owned slaves and/or hated niggers, I’m gonna say “Wanna thank my mama for being my cheerleader and helping a young G like me get my paper right…”
If there is no other reason for me to not give a fuck about a hater and their comments, it’s the fact that doing so takes away from those who love, care, and wish me well. Be sure to use your celebrators as your motivators, not your haters Besides, your haters probably ain’t got edges no way…
Afros and Ovaries
Waiting on a new Beyonce album…